cam chat

ya... I cam chat with M last night till this early morning...
Gosh...
I miss M so much...
The face and the smile... are taking my breath away...
And I miss the kisses...

I want you and kiss you deeply... muackss

conversation with PO

Boss (po) Me (jk)

po: how was your this month sales?
jk: san pa cheng (in hokkien)
po: ((quite))
jk: around 300k
po: (voice up) why so little? What happen to your sales this few months??
jk: I will ramp up by next month December...
po: how are you going to make it happen?
jk: I have a launching...
po: why you so sure you are going to get the cases??
jk: is a S&P sign day...
po: you should know our company is doing head count cutting...
jk: ya... I will see what i can do...
po: ok...

Gosh... I’m so blur now...
I know I can make it happen again ... just that I was so lost...
Suddenly all my sources don’t give the lead for 3 months liao...
So drama over here... my heart is pumping so fast... thinking bout my money things...
... Speechless...

2mr plan

Just came back from yoga class...
So tired and sleepy...
Plan to sleep soon...

I'm planning for 2mr timetable...

7am = wake up and call M... to wish Happy Bday
Then talk talk talk... hahah
730am = breakfast...
815am = go out fetch sandy to work... (She is having a bad day... err/// bad week... car plate drop hilang...)
9am = gym and ABT class
1130am = cinema high school musical 3 (hopefully... can la... but might change to meet customer)
4 pm = MV appointment
7pm = dinner

Perfect plan for 2mr !!!

p/s: I’m missing M so so much... I don’t know why... I MISS YOU

Happy Bday to ME!!!

Happy Bday to me!!!

This year Bday... very relaxing...
Didn’t celebrate but relax... enjoying @ Genting...
I have fun time over there...

M called me... this morning... the voice make me want to scream that I miss YOU, I want you...
What I can said is... a call that make me smile for whole day

wanna sleep... too tired...
tata

genting tonight!!!

Yeah yeah yeah///
I’m packing my things for the trip to Genting tonight!!!

By the way... sandy is sick... puking and lao saing... due to food poisoning... I don’t really know whether she can make it or not... a bit pening... I just wish she can make it... la... or else only three of us going...

Is my Bday this Sunday Nov 23...
This year wish is... getting another 10 wishes...
hahahha
I just hope I can meet M again very soon... and will not kena any retrenchment until CNY…

Adios... back on Sunday night...

a bit sad... nope... kinda sad///

I didn’t get any reply from M today...
Maybe busy?
Maybe no credit?
I have no idea...

Alil said is an excuse I give to myself...
Maybe she is right...

I thought I found someone I want... but... maybe I'm not the someone they want...
So bad... love is like this... when you thought you found it... it will bite you until you can’t catch your last breath...

I don’t know... maybe I'm too lonely until I need to find something to distract me from being lonely...
Or maybe I’m too easily to like someone... ha... I need to understand myself better...
Thank god I’m going to Genting 2mr night... maybe I need to play real hard @ the theme park... and casino as well... going Genting with Sandy, KB and Heng Pey...
Will take lots of photo... just need to stop myself from thinking bout M…

Until then… good night
muacksssss

relaxing and relaxing

Start my five days leave today...
Resting and resting and relaxing and relaxing...
kinda like this kind of life... thinking of nothing... just need a break to clear off my mind...

I watched Madagascar 2 last night with Heng Pey and sandy...
I love it so much... so funny... especially the part where the plane start to crash...
5 STARS for this movie... recommend to you guys...

It has been 6 days after M left Malaysia...
The missing feeling still fresh in my heart... I don’t know why...

Anyway... I so scare that this is "one hand clap" show again... hahaha... just hope that what M have said or sms is true... a bit siao siao JK today...

Going to lay down on my bed... close my eyes resting...

ANTM updates: Mckey won the title of ANTM cycle 11... see below pic... the cover girl photos... frankly speaking... I prefer analeigh pic and samantha pic...

*** Analeigh***

*** Mckey***

*** Samantha ***

happy happy

Yeah/// I'm going to Genting this weekend... and I have recovered from sick... flu sore throat etc
So happy...

Taking 5 days leave... starting this thu till next wed... I'm free...
fuiyoh... FREE from everything... will turn off mobile if can... try not to answer any calls to make sure that I'm fully utilize my rest time...

Another yeah things... it’s Raining right now... even happier now...
Wishing 2mr faster comes...

p/s: missing M so freaking much... just wish to be with M right now... hug and kiss xoxo

I really miss you... winks winks

fall in love?!

4.30am something now... I was awake due to a dream... OMG... a dream that show me who I miss... it’s kinda weird...

I never have this kind of feeling before... a strong feeling that I want to see the face again...
The smiling face of M keeps on rolling in my head... since last Friday...

ya... I miss M so so so much... I don’t know why... so much until I dream of M...
The face
The smile
The sweet talk
The hug
The kiss on my forehead
Those eyes
The kiss on my lips
The massage
The touch

Met M ... making my life upside down thinking of someone...
Is this love... errr... too fast to said love... maybe... is this a feeling of you met someone you want??
I have no idea @ all... this is a whole new feeling I ever have in my life... its kinda scare me... I was crying because I want to meet M again... its kinda sick...

Oh god... very scary... M is too far very far away from me...
I was lost... totally lost in this feeling... I even search online to check the air ticket... too ex... I need work hard now... in order for me to buy the ticket ((need to work my ass off for at least 4mths to buy the ticket))... at least something is good for me...
I have something to chase for... just I don’t know... the person want me to do that or not...
Falling for someone... is painful... even painful when the distance is so far...very far

***************************

M,
Can you tell me your feeling?
Is this just me... the only one that miss you... or you have the same feeling as well...
Tell me by email or sms... straight up to my face... let me know... whether I am right... meeting with you...

p/s: I'm strong enough to face it... just might cry for a few days before my Bday... ya... I'm STRONG... oh god... I’m crying now.... because I’m too scare to face it...

***************************

haiz... totally speechless right now...
I’m so typically me... ya... so so ME...

ANTM updates: I don’t really care anymore... whether who is going to win... because... I just want to know the answer from M... check the news online ... yourself...

5.30am now... I don’t know whether I can sleep again or not...
Just lay down... thinking of M again?
So lost...

Daniel and Edison

I have sore throat now...
So painful... drink 100 plus with salt///
tak tau work tak?
I attended abs express class today...
Now... the kidney area so fucking pain... but i like the class... nice instructor... will join again...
Talk bout opening a fruits stall with HP and Sandy... might do this... if I get fire...

As promise... some latest photo from Daniel and Edison...
((sudah checked... Luis teached me how to identify whether my pets are male or female...
Both are male...))
plan to buy another 3 ekor to accompany them...
Really love them so much... I always talk to them... alone... like a crazy man talking to animal...
They will stop and look @ me listen to me...
Just love them... see... their new house... Pink baby tub... the guli is Alil one... ((you mau the guli balik tak? still have a lot here))

*** Daniel & Edison***

*** so CUTE and CHIO***

ANTM updates: 2mr we will know who is the final three... HOPING samantha is OUT ... let you guys know by 2mr...

LOVE is??

Back from gym...
Not really have the mood to exercise today...
kinda not in the mood...
Chitchat a lot instead of doing the exercise...

I watched Ugly Betty latest episode yesterday... (You guys should know this hot series drama right?)
Is regarding inside beauty and outside beauty...

Amanda: “you know Betty, you are lucky... when someone fall in love with you, and it’s real. I never had that, I never know they love for who I am or because I am so pretty"

I think carefully regarding above quote... I don’t want to be Betty or Amanda... inside beauty without a pretty on the outside... doesn’t take u further... in your life... @ this brand new world...

(Below is the picture... middle: Betty, blonde: Amanda)

My appearance hasn’t reached the standard of Amanda... but at least better than Betty...
This kind of middle things... is even suckssssss

I just hope that I can meet someone that is special enough... to love with, cuddle with, hug with, have sex with etc etc....

Err.... blur still blur
I still haven’t figure out what I really want in my life?
Alil said that... all I wan is money... sit there wait money... nope... she said "pao" by people and get money...
Eventually... this is not I want... I know money is important... very important... to me...
But... I want something other money... ya... other than money...

p/s: Happy Bday to Alil and Jason!!!

Sunday

I'm getting better now...
Cheer myself up/././ by watching South Park...
I'm so so in love with Eric the character...
You know the fat 1... Just like me... typical JK...
(( I mean the personality of the character like me... not the body shape...)) wakaka

** Eric, Stan, Kyle & Kenny**

I have a nap this afternoon after gym, lunch and survivor Gabon... relaxing noon time...
Its kinda sucks... Marcus was out today... no more leng cai in the show already... Bored...
below is Marcus picture

Is a wonderful Sunday without anything hitting my mind... I washed Daniel’s & Edison’s house today... they are so cute... getting bigger already... talked to them... and my mum said me so geli talked to pets... ((Will post some pictures of Daniel and Edison soon))

P/s: I hate Monday

down and lost of direction

cheebye cheebye cheebye///
lan chiao lan chiao lan chiao///
kiong pu kiong pu kiong pu///

OMG>>>
I really need to scream out loud... I did it in my car... actually... and nearly... cry in the car...
macam L la... CB saja...

Today... I went to MAS cabin crew interview...
I reached there sharp @ 9am...
And the crowd is way more than i expected>>> I saw a lot people... mostly malays///...
Do you know what time I was call for interview...????????? 430pm...

7 people in a group for the interview...
And when we (as a group finished) we gather in a room waiting for the result...
@ that time... my group people said JK (ya tats me...) u sure dapat la... (I’m the only chinese in the group)

I can consider as the youngest in the group... 23... A nice age where i still can SHAKE....
some of my group cant even speak in english... and some of them so nervous until their hand is shaking... I sat in the middle... where my eyes roll like a roller coaster... watched and listened people buat show... said this is the N times of attempts for interview... their passion... they are born to become a cabin crew.... their dreams since age 5... etc etc etc

The result came... and............ I'm O U T..... OUT... chao cheebye
only one the girl is in... from the seven ppl... the girl..... thats is so nervous and speak so little...
WTF!!!!! fuck them fuck fuck fuck..............

Reach home @ 6pm ... ordered pizza... chicken wings and garlic bread...
Keep on eating non stop now...

I'm totally lost... lost right now... I don’t know what I want already...
I have no idea... like an angel falling ... keep on falling...
Where is my dream??? My direction???

Why?>

Just tell me why?

I have a wonderful time @ gym tonight... sweating... burned 500 calories...

But... but... after gym I ate... a spicy mee recommend by sandy (NOT NICE) and a french fries...
I don’t know how much is the calories.... but I confirm is more than the 500 that I burned... anyway … I had fun with my lovely friends @ noodle station @ Egate… Heng Pey, Sandy and KB…

I think... I need to figure out a way... to make sure... no more eating after gym...

hahaha... so blur... I'm preparing myself for this sat... so nervous... (Let u know what is the happening thing on sat very soon)

ANTM updates:
Elina was eliminated… this week… WTF can’t believe it… eventually… err… I don’t really like ANTM since cycle 7… all winners (after cycle 7) is kinda… OUT … yaya… is O U T.

And that Samantha still in the round… some more called out 1st … cheebye… can’t believe it… HOPING she is OUT by next week…

Sleepy… good night…

Rain

Rain right now...
I love rainy day / night...
Just like washing away my sad things... like I have cried out loud... OUT LOUD

But the thing is... this cold rainy night... everyone wishes to have someone beside them...

I don’t know... I feel kinda lost these days (since mid of last month)... losing my breath... like drowning into the sea... lost of direction...
I need help... but I don’t know what my problem is... kinda blur...BLUR...

I really need a break... very very looking forward the trip to Genting... maybe I need to lose my self a bit... or even more... too tight... my mind...and everything else...

By the way... ANTM cycle 11 is on the air... come to the final 5... Who u rooting for??
I wish... la... Elina... Marjorie.... and Mckey... can become the top 3...
and wishing Samantha... is on her way... HOME by 2mr... yeah...
Below is their makeover picture :

*** Analeigh ***

*** Elina ***

*** Marjorie ***

*** Mckey ***

*** Samantha ***

Sleepy now... I want to sleep... adios...

BTW : Heng Pey have been PPK me for two times in a row this week... we will see by 2mr... whether another rocket from her boh?

wishing all my friends... Don't Ever Give Up